Progress and the Fartress

Last night I slept for the first time with my eye not taped shut since 07/11/2010. It was odd. Once you've been taping for 5 months, you get used to it. I have to say, it's more convenient not to tape.

My eye is finally almost perfectly normal again. That, and a little more strength and mobility in my lower right lip are all that remain to finish my healing from Bell's palsy. I hadn't thought it would take this long, but I probably should have taken that first week off of work. Oh, well. If I heal, I'm happy.

Today Spawn built a fartress. It's like a castle kids build with their blankets and such, but this one was a place where she could go to fart freely. Clearly I'm teaching this child a complete lack of manners. Although, rumor has it Bubbles may have been behind the naming of the flatulent resort.

Oh, and we had our first bought of lice about a week ago. Talk about horrifying. I know they're common and they like clean houses and clean hair and just about any kid in public school will get them at some point, but it's still really bad. Bubbles went to town on the hapless bugs, and we haven't seen any sign of them since the first day. Their corpses are all down drains and in the vacuum bag, I'm sure, but we're all still having psychosomatic itching at the mere mention of lice, and Bubbles and I never even got them.

Bell's Palsy, Day 8

Yesterday was very relaxed, and not much changed. Today's similar. It seems very much like my face continues to gain symmetry. My speech seems clearer. The problem is that progress is gradual enough that it's hard to be absolutely sure. My brother has suggested doing daily videos to see improvement, and that may be a good idea. Then again, I know it's getting better. There's a reason the doctor said I needed to be patient. This is a healing process.

Today I have some muscle soreness on the right side of my face. The ones that do work are working really hard to compensate and to counteract the strength on the left side.

Spawn was really sweet and said a prayer that if possible I might be healed overnight. That would have been wonderful of course, but I'm not surprised there's still more time left on this particular trial.

Bell's Palsy, Day 6

I skipped a day by mistake, but really there's not a ton to report. I did have a doctor's appointment, which went well. He confirmed the ER diagnosis and said to continue the course of the medications. He also advised patience. The recovery is different for everyone, but the fact I never lost any tactile sensitivity was a really good sign. I guess some people do. I've also avoided involuntary drooling. I guess many people don't. He said although much about the condition is still mysterious, it looked good for a full recovery.

The patience bit is something I've come to understand as I talk to the increasing number of people I'm finding out have had this or know someone directly who has. Some people get it more than once, especially if they had it as children or teens. Their later bouts last only 2-3 days. One friend had it and didn't start to have any recovery until a week and a half after onset. So, I've gotten an early start on recovery, but it appears mine will take some time. That's okay with me, as long as it heals. I'd like to be over taping my eye at night, and also be able to eat more easily, but I'm sure that will come.

Today my face seemed to lift a bit better, easing the asymmetry. My mouth seems to form a straighter line rather than drooping so much on the right. I haven't made any huge strides in new areas or strength of control, but I think chewing is a bit easier (for those who haven't thought about it, you use your cheek muscles to push food from the side of your mouth back up into your teeth--hard to do when your cheek muscles won't respond). Patience...

I've started doing my lunch time walks again. This event has has been wake up call in a few ways. After my gall bladder surgery, the weight loss Bubbles and I were accomplishing fell by the wayside. That's going to change. It's time to be healthier. The goal of the walking isn't just to reestablish my routine, though, but also to help relieve the stress of work and to increase overall circulation, which I hope will help lessen inflammation and thus speed recovery. At the very least, I'm hoping for some placebo effect.

I'm also learning some important personal lessons. I've always been a bit repulsed by physical deformity. I suppose it's only natural, but it's not right, and I've always known that. Being repulsed by your own face in the mirror is quite a revelation. Being disgusted at your own inability to eat normally is deeply humbling. It builds tolerance and empathy for others. I also suspect small imperfections that have bothered me in the past won't so much in the future. What are they compared to a working face? While I don't like what I'm going through, it will help me be a better person if I let it, so I'm trying.

Bell's Palsy, Day 4

I'm so excited. Funny how little things will do that. I now have slight downward movement in my right upper lip. It's weak, but it's there. Same with my chin. The action of the muscles is dwarfed by the unaffected muscles on the left, but I can feel it, and it can be seen. I also think when I had my granola bar this afternoon to take my Acyclovir (food helps with the medicine's uptake), my upper right lip did move a bit up and out of the way. I didn't make that happen, but it should happen automatically when I take a bite and it hasn't been (it's a lot of work to avoid biting your limp lip, actually). So that's indicative of additional return of control.

I'm now positive this is temporary. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to follow up. They'll probably want to make sure I don't have high blood pressure or anything else that might hinder healing, but I'm pretty sure I don't. I know it was high on Sunday morning, but I thought I'd had a stroke, so that's pretty predictable.

In any case, I'm very excited and much more upbeat than I had been.

Bell's Palsy, Day 3

There haven't been any huge changes today, except that I've averted redness and discomfort in my right eye today. Funny what not having a hair in it and vents blowing on it will do for the comfort level. Last night we put in some all night moistening gel, taped the lid carefully with paper tape, then covered with an eyepatch. It was probably overkill, since the eye does close in sleep, but why take chances? It worked great, though I had "vaseline on the lens" effect for a while after waking up.

I forgot to mention that when I got home last night Spawn had sweetly created "Happy Home" signs and placed them all over the house. It was really cute, and really sweet of her.

I could swear last night at some point I twitched my nose. I don't think it was a dream, but I couldn't do it again this morning or today. Just recently, I was feigning surprise for Ellie and both my eyes opened wide and my eyebrows both went up. I couldn't repeat it, but it's a start. I'm confident I'm going to heal.

Today a huge portion of the stress I've been under has been calmed. First, my desk partner at work will be back tomorrow after 4 days out and her workload has slowed considerably. At my work, we have a designated person who covers your desk while you're out, and you cover his or hers while he or she is out. That doesn't mean you do all their work, but rather coordinate the effort of covering the desk. Because of a potential big project, I'd been trying to keep as much of her stuff as possible on my desk to minimize the impact on others. The result was probably overstressing myself.

The big help was Bubbles. She went to the Temple today and put my name on the prayer roll. attribute the result to what you will, but the result was amazing. Shortly after the time she did it, a review of my workload allowed me to calm considerably. I could tell it wasn't as bad as I'd been thinking. As the day progressed, every time I started to worry, I'd be calmed and assured everything was fine. And it was. She'd been praying for me before, and often times I know when she has been--her faith truly does move mountains. This was just an additional testimony of the power of the combined faith involved in temple worship, and it's a powerful one. I'm more confident than ever that I will be back to normal, and sooner rather than later.

Bell's Palsy, Day 2

The literature seems to be right. Paralysis of the facial muscles on my right side seems complete now (fact sheets from the hospital says it's complete in between 24-48 hours. Thank goodness my eyelid mostly works.

Spawn called me in to ask how my face was this morning. After explaining that despite it being a bit worse that was normal, I unexpectedly started crying. Even knowing this is going to get better doesn't seem to ease how difficult it is to endure, especially with your 6 year old examining your ruined face.

One can't help but wonder if one is going to be part of the unlucky 20% that suffers permanent debility. Did I experience my last normal kiss on Saturday? My last normal taste of food on Friday? I don't think so, but the wondering, well, that's hard.

After work: I had kind of a harrowing drive home. A hair in my eye (discovered later) along with air from the vents combined for a painful right eye that I couldn't blink well enough (even using my fingers to help) to clear. I got home as fast as possible and rinsed thoroughly. The eye has gone from very red to nearly normal and fairly comfortable, albeit still tired and a bit irritated.

I seem to have regained very slight control of my lower right lip, though it's sill very weak, and I'm experiencing small muscle spasms in my upper right lip, which Bubbles has read is a good sign.

I had to work a long day at work today, which isn't so good, but I lived through it with plenty of help from on high.

Bell's Palsy

You don't expect your life to change overnight. Nobody ever does, but it happens all the time. Last night it happened to me.

It could be a lot worse, but naturally I'd have preferred that it not happen at all. Yesterday afternoon it seemed like the right side of my tongue wasn't tasting properly. I noticed it first with water. I love drinking water. It concerned me enough by evening that I tried a teaspoon full of sugar, then a dab of salt. I could taste them, but it still seemed like it was weak on my right side.

Well, what to do? It wasn't any big deal. I don't have a sense of smell, so the contrast wasn't huge, really. I went to bed.

This morning I woke up and twitched my nose. Left side worked fine. Right side didn't. Weird. I can curl my tongue the way one does for long distance watermelon seed spitting. I tried. The left side curled. The right side didn't. I can wink quite well with either eye. I tried that. The left side worked. The right side didn't. I can flare my nostrils at will. Same result. I can raise my eyebrows. Same result. The right side of my face was simply weak.

Fearing that despite being relatively young (mid 30's) the worst had happened, I called the on call doctor. He was very nice and asked about symptoms. I described them, and he said it seemed much more like Bell's Palsy than a stroke. I had heard of Bell's Palsy because it was what my Dad insisted he'd had after he had an actual stroke. Unlike him, I had no weakness in my limbs on the affected side, nor loss of sensation. Also, it turns out that for some reason, stroke paralysis doesn't usually affect the eyebrow on the affected side. Bell's Palsy does. My eyebrow was affected.

We took a trip to the Emergency Room, since no matter what, immediate treatment is important. They confirmed it was Bell's Palsy, and sent me home with antiviral medication and steroids to reduce any inflammation. Textbook treatment for a textbook case of Bell's Palsy--it was precisely what the on call doctor had said was likely.

Not having much sense of taste is really odd. Now I think I know what people who lose their sense of smell must go through. I've never had one, so I know I'm missing things, but it's not a huge deal to me. Food pretty much tastes like cardboard. The joy has gone out of eating. On the bright side, at least it will be easy to lose weight.

King Tutankhamun and the California Academy of Sciences

A month or so ago, a coworker told me about a delightful visit to the Tutankhamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs exhibit at the de Young Museum in San Francisco. Knowing I had this week off, I talked about it with Bubbles and we decided that not only did we want to see it, but Spawn would have a delightful time. Since that visit is only about an hour and a half, we decided to spend the rest of the day at the California Academy of Sciences.

The trip was fantastic. The drive involved very light traffic, which is rare and really pleasant when driving into San Francisco. We arrived before 9:30, found a perfect parking spot (right next to the stairs up to the Academy of Sciences), and went and got tickets to get into the California Academy of Sciences (which I'll abbreviate CAS for the rest of the post).

We had enough time to line up and go see the Tropical Rain Forest exhibit. It's in a massive plexiglass globe that's kept hot and humid. I nearly died, since I hate those conditions, but it was worth the oppressive conditions to see the plants and animals. Near the lowest level were two gorgeous macaws that make a tremendous amount of noise (you can't hear it outside the globe). No flashes are permitted in the exhibit, so some of the pictures aren't great, but if you live close, go see them.



We saw and photographed more than I wanted to upload and post, but I'll show a few things. The globe is filled with beautiful smaller birds, incredible butterflies and small enclosures with rain forest creatures living in them.



Spawn loved it, and posed at the top for a picture.



Once we got through the Rain Forest, it was time to rush over to the de Young Museum. Tutankhamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs was amazing. You're probably aware Tutankhamun really was a footnote in history and we'd probably never hear his name except that his tomb was discovered undisturbed by grave robbers, so we have a ton of artifacts from it, and they're incredible.

The first six galleries of the exhibit take you through the history leading up to Tutankhamun's brief reign. The artifacts are amazing, and text presentations on the walls put them in historical context. You can't take pictures in the exhibit, and there's too much to post anyway, but I found this tour preview. I'll post a few of my favorites since the link will probably eventually expire.

This little shrine was amazing:



The craftsmanship on all the items we saw was remarkable. Doing all of it by hand kind of boggles the mind.

Many of the artifacts were carved from stone and decorated. Here's an example of a jar that probably held cosmetics.



The last four galleries were artifacts from Tutankhamun's tomb. It's hard to describe, because it's so much information and so much to see.

The actual sarcophagus and death mask are not on tour anymore--Egypt declared them national treasures and too delicate to move any longer, so they're on permanent display in the Cairo museum, I believe.

They do have videos of them including details you'd never get close enough to see in a physical exhibit anyway. They do have a coffin on display that contained his liver (evidently he got better than the standard canopic jar).



Bubbles was impressed by the falcon pectoral piece that was on the mummy's chest in one of the layers.



The reason it's so impressive is how thin it is. The gold must have been carefully beaten to an almost delicate thickness and then decorated. You can't tell that from the pictures, really.

I was impressed by the inlays done in the gold, wood and stone.



Some of the stone statuettes are in incredible states of preservation. I can't believe a wooden artifact can last that long. Naturally if flesh can, wood can, but it's still a bit of a surprise. Egypt's dry environment and the preparation work by artisans yield remarkable results.

I'm a boy, so of course I was interested in the ceremonial dagger buried with the mummy.



We spent about an hour going through the exhibit. You could easily spend longer, but Spawn wanted to get back to the aquarium at the CAS, and we got a good look at all the artifacts, so we moved on.

After grabbing lunch and eating in the park between the museums, we headed back into the CAS.

We spent some quality time down in the aquarium, which is really nice. It's not the Monterey Bay Aquarium, but it's still impressive. Spawn loved it.

Mostly I got pictures of the back of her head as she admired various tanks, but here's one where she turned suddenly as I was taking a picture.



Pictures don't do the tanks justice. My camera's not very fancy and I think solutes in the water make the images much less impressive than what you'll see during a visit.

Also, you're not allowed to use your flash for many of the exhibits. So, unless you have an amazingly steady hand, you'll end up with a blurry image.

The African Penguins exhibit was probably Spawn's favorite, and it was actually a lot of fun to watch them. The runner up would be the albino alligator. If I heard staff correctly, his name is Claude. Here are my amateur shots of him:







Spawn needed one of her own. Here's the CAS photo of Claude:



Here's Spawn's alligator, which she decided was female and named Alana.



Startling resemblance, wouldn't you say?

Alana is Spawn's new favorite:



Uh, kid? The pillow's for your head, not to showcase your new favorite animal.

We wandered around the exhibits and enjoyed them, and finished up with a showing of Journey to the Stars in the planetarium. It's not for those who get motion sickness. Bubbles just about chundered, but I really enjoyed it. Sit toward the upper/middle if you can. We were near the bottom and had to do a lot of neck craning, but it was a great show nonetheless.

After a quick trip to the living roof, we were done. It was pretty to see, but I mostly appreciated the cool fresh air.

We went over the Golden Gate so Spawn could see it (it was my first time crossing it, too, though I'd seen it many times, naturally). That proved to be something of a mistake as we headed up Highway 37. Near the Napa/Sacramento split, traffic got awful. It took us 3 hours total to get home, but at least the scenery was much nicer than getting stuck in say, Richmond.

Yesterday was fun and memorable, hopefully for Spawn, too!

2nd Annual Snow Trip

Here are some photos of the highlights of our trip to the snow.

First we made a snowman. We named him Rowdy.



Then we found a great hill and told Ellie she could just slide on her pants. She liked that.









Then she made a gift for Daddy.



After all that she was tired.

Lessons from Church

I love going to church. Today one really important lesson didn't come from class. More on that in a bit. One thing I did learn in the Gospel Doctrine lesson was about the Hebrew word "yom." The teacher didn't source it, but taught that yom may mean "time," "day," or "period." On one site I found a word study on it. I haven't checked the entirety of the site's content, so I can't say I agree with it all, but the information on yom is fascinating. As an aside, I like the intent of this site. I don't think there is any conflict between science and religion. In any case, yom is translated into English in various verses of the Bible as "time," "year" or "years," "ago," "always," "ever," and "evermore." For those of us who believe God used the laws He created to organize the Earth, that's an important concept.

The lesson I learned that didn't come from class was fascinating. At the beginning of the third hour of worship, all the priesthood holders come together to start their meeting together before dividing into various quorums. Usually, we sing the first verse of a song. Today, the gentleman leading the music told us we'd sing the second verse of "Sweet Hour of Prayer." A couple of times before we started he signaled the group with two fingers, recognized as, "We're singing the second verse, guys, not the first." More than half the group, having been oblivious in their side conversations, happily sang the first verse. Many of the rest just reverted to singing the first out of habit.

It was a fantastic lesson on obedience. Obedience is not to simply continue engaging in our comfortable habits, heedless of any new direction. Obedience involves flexibility and listening for God's instructions from the Spirit.

O Remember, Remember

The EQ President called up and asked if I could teach the lesson tomorrow, apologizing for the short notice. Fortunately, having just been released from Primary, Bubbles and I were renewed in our resolve to deeply study our lessons before going to Church, so I'd had some good preparation. He suggested linking the below video to the very basic lesson on God. I'm glad he recommended it. It's given me new resolve to do better in my record-keeping. Here it is for the interested:



I've also transcribed it to hand out with my lesson. For those who want President Eyring's words:

When our children were very small, I started to write down a few things about what happened every day. I wrote down a few lines every day for years. I never missed a day no matter how tired I was or how early I would have to start the next day.

Before I would write I would ponder this question: “Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us?” As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what he had done.

You might pray, and ponder, asking the question, “Did God send a message that was just for me? Did I see His hand in my life?”