Off She Goes Again?

 I don't like change. This will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me. It's time for change again, and I hate it, even though it's necessary.

Spawn is going away to college. When she left for a mission, that was hard. When she came home, I was very, very happy. I love having my kid home.

When she was released as a missionary, we had months and months of basically reliving her childhood again. She has had few responsibilities and little pressure and she's gotten to just be happy and do the things she enjoys.

And as every adult reading this knows, that doesn't last. You're always going to have to be doing something at some point. It's part of being an adult. So, that time has come. Spawn has had strong inspiration from the Spirit that the needs to go away to school and that she will likely meet her eternal companion there. I've felt the same praying about it.

That's good!  I want her to have the family she wants and for her to be happy in life. I also, very selfishly, want her to be a kid forever and I want to hang out with her and Bubbles and just have fun.

So, what to do? Well, you just kind of endure the change, I guess. We're driving there as a family, getting her apartment set up and then Bubbles and I will come home alone. This all happens next week.

I recognize life will never quite be the same again and there's some definite grieving happening about that. Other parents have told us you grieve the end of your children's childhoods very much the way you do the passing of a loved one, and that seems to be true for me.

I'm having memories of things she and I did over the years and it's very bittersweet.

I remember baptizing her as an 8 year old, and how happy she was that day.

I remember her sitting on my lap as we watched the show Survivorman. We'd pour a bowl of Cheeseit crackers and call it survivor food and discuss what he was doing. There was one in the swamps of the South where he caught and cooked a frog, and we created a song about it, called "Frogalicious Yum."

I remember going to her swim meets, setting up our giant EZ Up and timing for her team. Her fellow swimmers would decorate each other with sharpies, so we bought a big pack of colored sharpies and she once had them write "Eat my Bubbles" along with a lot of bubbles. It made me laugh, as I imagined her passing gas at other swimmers as they competed. This makes no sense, as each swimmer had her own lane, but my imagination is often nonsensical.

I remember our Disneyland trip. I even chronicled it here in this blog.

She's had so much fun with friends in the last few weeks, and there's an air of last minute reaffirmation of friendship and wanting desperately not to let go. I've loved watching her have that fun.

She will make new friends at college, but she's not the kind of person to forget her old friends. She'll find a great guy and get married and have kids. I want her to do all that and to not be alone in life after Bubbles and I are gone.

And deep down inside, I desperately don't want her to grow up and go away. We'll always be friends, I just don't want things to change. But it will, and it will be okay.

8 Years Old

Spawn's a very special rather wonderful girl. I'm biased, but we received some independent confirmation yesterday.

She turned 8 on November 17th and that Friday had her birthday party at a local gymnastics place. She had tremendous fun with about a dozen close friends.

Queen of the Birthday Table:

The Parachute Game with Friends:

Yesterday was a different sort of fun. Spawn had been looking forward to it for a long time. She was baptized. The morning before she told us why she was excited. "All of my sins will be washed away, I'll be an actual member of the church, and Heavenly Father will take my prayers more seriously." I reminded her that Heavenly Father has always taken her prayers seriously. She'd also expressed how she was a bit humbled that Heavenly Father trusted her so much. We'd been discussing the baptismal covenant, and she liked what she heard.

Spawn's aunt Jean had made her an absolutely stunning dress for the baptism.

Each snowflake in that front panel is different from the others.

No ornate dress is complete without a proper belt.

Needless to say, Spawn was thrilled to put the dress on. She said it made her feel like a princess. It is the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given her.

Now, I'm old school. I hadn't planned on anything but the normal baptismal service. Bubbles had other ideas. "Everybody's done cake or cookies. We need to do that," she said. Okay, I can deal with cookies. We got cookies. "We have family coming in from Chico, and wonderful friends we haven't seen in far too long coming from the Bay Area and Antelope. They will need some refreshments before heading home again." Okay, very reasonable. Soon she'd turned our intimate get together into a Candace Party, though. Don't get the reference? The below video will help.

Okay, so it didn't really turn into a party. It was still a few close friends. And of course it was wonderful, just like everything Bubbles convinces me to do. The leftovers are also wonderful. Bubbles is wise.

The actual baptismal service was incredible. They always are, but it was especially so for me since it's my only child, and very likely the last time I'll perform a saving ordinance for family. I had a conversation with Heavenly Father thanking him for letting me take care of one of his daughters and acknowledging she was first and foremost His. I asked that it would be a great day for her and that He'd speak very clearly to her in the blessing following her baptism.

We relied quite heavily on our family from Chico, and they were amazing. Aunt Jean gave the opening prayer. Cousin Katie gave a lovely talk on Baptism. I am not sure there could have been a better source for that talk. Katie understands the topic well, and she conveyed the things Spawn needed to understand very clearly. Naturally, the message coming from her well-beloved cousin held Spawn's attention very well.

The baptism went really well. You have to understand, I'm a complete sap. When the Spirit is strong, that's magnified. It's no shock my voice cracked a bit as I said the baptismal prayer. I was grateful I didn't lose it altogether and have to try again.

Yes, this picture made me recommit to losing weight, but she's adorable:

How about one more with mommy in it this time? Okay.

And there were our behind the scenes helpers, too. Our good friends Tate and Angela made sure there was water on hand. Considering the number of cookies consumed, this turned out to be vital (it helped us avoid turning the gathering afterward into a "Got Milk?" commercial. Complete digression: we went to the adult dinner dance with them and some other friends. Friday night. Bubbles should write about that soon.

Spawn and I went to our respective changing areas after the baptism and I was delighted to find Spawn's soccer coach, who is a member of our faith, changing from soccer gear to church attire. He was sad to have missed the baptism itself, but I mentioned it was far more important to have him in the circle when she was blessed.

Once we changed, Uncle Mark gave a talk on the Gift of the Holy Ghost. He was great. Ellie sat paying attention, and Mark's talk was very well done. I have to write my talks out fully. He was able to do a beautiful job from notes only. I was impressed. Most importantly, Ellie got a lot out of it.

Coach Jared did make it to the circle for the confirmation. In fact, I felt strongly that everyone who cared about Spawn enough to come to her baptism and who was eligible to participate should, so I invited all Melchizedek priesthood holders to come forward and be part of her confirmation blessing.

There is something very special about confirmation blessings. They begin by confirming a person a member of the Church, hence the name. This is also the blessing in which the Gift of the Holy Ghost is conferred. No one but the Savior can actually give the Gift of the Holy Ghost, so the words used in the blessing are, "receive the Holy Ghost." I have never participated in a confirmation, or given a confirmation where the Holy Ghost did not become amazingly strong at that point of the blessing, and yesterday was no exception. It was poured out on the circle and Spawn. It was wonderful. The blessing was full of Heavenly Father's love for her and she was promised many wonderful things, including plenty of help navigating a difficult world. I couldn't have been more pleased. For those who haven't given a blessing of this sort, it might sound a bit funny to say it that way, but the person acting as the voice in the blessing really hasn't any say in what is pronounced on the person being blessed. The impressions and often actual words of the blessing come by the Spirit. I wouldn't have it any other way.

After we'd finished, and Spawn shook the hands of all the gentlemen in the circle (a baker's dozen or so), the bishop welcomed her to the ward family. Our bishop is a really nice man with 5 kids of his own. His demeanor with children is sweet, patient and seasoned with plenty of good humor. Spawn took complete advantage of this. He asked her questions, and she responded with her normal frankness, drawing quite a few chuckles from the crowd. I promptly dubbed the performance the Spawn and Bishop show.

The Primary presidency next welcomed Spawn to the ward. They were very sweet. Angela gave the closing prayer.

We couldn't have asked for a nicer service. Spawn was delighted with all of it. It more than met her expectations for the event. When we asked how she'd felt after being baptized, she told us it felt like a warm blanket was wrapped around her heart. She later decided it had to be a flannel blanket because it was so warm. We reminded her those feelings come from the Spirit. Since today was fast and testimony meeting, she happily went and bore her testimony about it in Sacrament meeting. I went with her, and of course my child expressing herself so well and spiritually caused me to lose my composure completely. I'm sure everyone understood.

It's been a wonderful weekend. I'm very happy for my little one, and more importantly, she's very happy.

My Baby's Faith

We try to teach our little one how our faith has blessed us and helped us be happy in life. When Bubbles' car wouldn't start after installing her stereo (an admittedly small life problem), I was very worried and went upstairs and prayed about it. Not long after, I had an idea of what I should do, I went and did it, and the car did start. We still had to have a professional do a permanent fix, but at last we could get it to one without a tow. I explained all of this to Spawn.

Friday night, I'd been sick. I had a sore throat, I was congested, and not sure I was up to travel. That wouldn't have been a problem, except we wanted to go to a baptism on Saturday about 2 hours from home. It was going to take place at a building on the grounds of the temple where Bubbles and I were married and where we got engaged. Spawn really wanted to go.

The next morning I woke up and found the soreness almost entirely gone, and the congestion much better. When Spawn woke up, she immediately came to me and asked how I felt. I told her how much better I was doing and she smiled and explained she had prayed for me to feel better the night before, because she really wanted to visit the temple and see the baptism.

It's funny how the pure faith of such a small child can have such a potent impact. Naturally, we went to the baptism, and we showed her the place where Mommy and Daddy got engaged, walked around the lovely temple grounds and spent time in the visitor's center.

I am delighted to see my little one's prayers answered and her faith growing in response.