A singular experience

For years, I've kept mostly to myself an experience I had as a missionary. I've told it to family, and a few friends. Lately I've felt prompted to set it down in writing.  I had a friend who left our faith saying that our beliefs couldn't be validated scientifically, and in fact were disproved by science.  When I reminded her I was a very logical and scientifically-minded person in my thinking, she lashed back at me and told me I couldn't be.  I will admit that my faith isn't scientifically-based.  It can't be.  That isn't the nature of faith.

I do agree with Henry Eyring the chemist who said, "Is there any conflict between science and religion? There is no conflict in the mind of God, but often there is conflict in the minds of men." (Henry Eyring. Reflections of a scientist.)  Bruce R. McConkie sagely considered, "Obviously there never will be a conflict between truths revealed in the realm of religion and those discovered by scientific research.  Truth is ever in harmony with itself.  But if false doctrines creep into revealed religion, these will run counter to the discovered truths of science; and if false scientific theories are postulated, these ultimately will be overthrown by the truths revealed from Him who knows all things."  (Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine)  I have never found my faith at odds with science.  Any seeming conflicts have been resolved through study, prayer and additional information.  It has come to the point where if there appears to be a conflict, I am not worried.  I know it will be resolved in time.  This doesn't absolve me of the need to study the thing out, but it does remove any threat to my faith.

Part of this strong faith comes from experiences I've had.  They can't be probed scientifically, they just are.  There are things I have seen and heard that I can't deny, and I know that to deny them would bring upon me the condemnation of God.  This experience is one of them, possibly the most powerful.

As a missionary, I was called upon to give many blessings to people, but one stood out.  We were called to give a blessing of health to a sick relative of a member family.  We went to go and help.  When we entered the home, having yet to learn anything of the infirmity involved, I was immediately made aware something was really wrong when the Spirit came upon me with great force.  I've described it as the Spirit slamming down around me like a shield.  It was so powerful it felt like a physical force.  I had no idea yet why that happened, but it was so singular in my experience that it stood out and it led me to think something out of the ordinary was going on in that home.

We went in and talked with the man and his family.  He was agitated.  He had trouble focusing on things.  His movements were often jerky.  He would discuss things, but often contradict himself, sometimes even saying yes while shaking his head no, or saying no while nodding yes.  We prayed with him to try to prepare him and he had trouble with this.  We sang hymns with him, and he had difficulty singing the hymns, despite holding a hymn book (he was not a member, but had attended often, and knew the simple hymns we stuck to).  I still did not know what was wrong, or perhaps hadn't admitted to myself what was wrong.  My companion appeared calm, but later he told me he was agitated because he'd seen this before.  Through it all, the Spirit stayed with me, protecting me powerfully for reasons I didn't yet understand.

My companion anointed the man with consecrated oil, and I blessed.  During the blessing  I was prompted to cast out spirits.  Now I am not in the habit of ignoring the inspiration that comes during a blessing.  It's an incredible experience, and each blessing comes with new witness of the divinity of the ordinance.  But I couldn't bring myself to say it.  At the third prompting, I finally said it.  Nothing happened.  I concluded the blessing and we went on talking with the man afterward.  Nothing had changed.  I wondered if I'd misunderstood what I'd been directed to say, but the prompting had been clear, and the Spirit still protected me in a way I now accepted was necessary given what we were facing.  

The man was able to tell us at that point he was fighting with possessing spirits.  He'd been deeply depressed in recent weeks and had been opened up to them.  He thought there were three of them.  I recalled that even the Apostles in the New Testament had trouble casting out some Spirits.  As nothing more than an Elder, I realized this might be a process.  My companion blessed him and was also prompted to cast out spirits, but they didn't come out for him, either.

Seeking more power, I gathered all of the Melchizedek priesthood holders to participate.  We blessed the man a few times.  During one of them, one of the men fell back.  We closed the circle and finished the blessing.  We asked if he was well, and he said he was but that a spirit or spirits had attempted to enter into him and so he'd physically moved away.  I understood better why the shield about me was so strong and continued to be.  I knew I was beyond harm from the possessing spirits so long as the Holy Spirit was so powerfully protecting me.  I called the branch president at that point in a private room and told him what had happened.  I thought I might need more authority.  I described the experience and he told me without disclosing anything confidential that the man who'd been assailed should not have been in the circle at that time.  That made sense.  He shouldn't have been trying to exercise the priesthood, and so was vulnerable.  I invited the branch president to come help.  He declined, as he was in the middle of important business.

I called my mission president next.  He was entirely unfazed by what I related.  He was unable to come either, but reminded me I had the authority, but these things were powerful.  Still, they'd eventually have to respond.  He closed with the very comforting, "And Elder, be careful.  Sometimes they throw things."

I'm grateful these spirits hadn't enough control over the man to do that.  I'm sure I'd have found it unnerving.

I went back with the others, and to avoid disclosing that I had learned one man was unworthy, I explained my companion and I would try it alone for a bit.  We blessed the man three more times.  On the third time I felt the spirits depart and quickly closed the blessing.  My companion was already looking at me and said, "Did you feel them go?"  I confirmed I had.  The man we'd been blessing was then normal, all symptoms having disappeared.  He was very frightened at what had just happened, and wanted us to stay.  He said he could feel the Holy Spirit with us and didn't want that protection to go.  We explained we couldn't stay long, but that he could have the Spirit with him as a protection, too.  We set him to reading scriptures and conference editions of the Ensign.  I was amazed at the change in him.  His movements were smooth.  He spoke without hesitation or contradiction.  He could sing hymns and read scriptures aloud without trouble.  

The man remained free of further trouble for the time I was in the area.  We eventually lost contact.  My companion told me on the way home from this experience that he had seen it once before happen to an elder in an apartment he lived in.  The elder had become very depressed, and had been similarly possessed. and run out into the night.  The mission president had come and taken care of it, casting out the spirits and seeing to the elder's spiritual health.  Having seen it before, my companion had caught on much quicker than I had but was afraid to say anything.  Since I'd just experienced the casting out process I couldn't blame him for that.  It's an experience only a fool would seek out.  You deal with it if you have to, but it's scary and it's not something most of us would choose to repeat.  You really don't want to think it's real.  I had faith in what I'd read in the Bible, and had faith such things could happen, but hadn't really thought about them as more than historical events.  That changed that night.  I had felt the power of evil and knew it was completely real and very strong.  I'd felt God's incredible response, and knew His power was superior.  The fight between good and evil had become real to me in a way it never before was.   

When I've thought about this experience, I've realized it defies scientific probing, but it really happened to me.  My companion, the fellow we'd blessed and about a dozen of that fellow's relations had seen it happen.  We experienced things simultaneously, and the reality of what happened leaves me with no explanation except that either spiritual possession is real, or mass telepathy and hallucination are real.  Occam's razor suggests the first explanation is the best, being the simplest.  This powerful experience has stayed with me, and kept me from questioning my faith.  I still explore and seek to understand contradictions, but I have no doubts about the reality of God and the truthfulness of the gospel.